Getting Old

 

I know I have written so many times about this in my past blogs. But my perspective about it keeps on changing. As you keep having new blogs. And as you keep growing old. I turned 31 this year and it was a mental disaster for me accepting the fact that I'm now in the 30's. It seems like it was just yesterday when I was just a kid, so care-free and worry-free about life. But now, I worry about so many things. How to survive in this world. Caring about people you love. Things you need to do to earn money, etc.

I admit. I'm afraid to grow old. So afraid! I'm afraid to lose the strength I'm used to have. I'm afraid to be limited in doing things. I'm afraid of having less opportunity to experience great things in life. If only I can have a choice to stay young, I would do that. If only there's a potion that I can drink so I can maintain my youth, I would drink that. If science can just create something that can make it possible, I would grab that chance. That's how I want to stay young forever.

That's why I live like I will never be young anymore. Para akong nagmamadali lagi sa buhay. Para akong nakikipaghabulan sa oras. Although kanya kanya naman yan. May gusto nang slow-paced life. May gusto nang simpleng buhay at kuntento na sa kung anong meron sila. Yung mga pamilyadong tao. Ako, hindi. Gusto ko habang bata pa, habang may lakas pa, gusto ko nang gawin lahat nang pwede kong gawin. I don't want to miss the chances and regret for the rest of my life when I become old because I wasn't able to do it.

Kalakip nang konseptong ito is to work hard and achieve things. Masaya naman ako sa mga naging accomplishments ko sa buhay. Mga naabot ko sa career ko, mga bagay na napundar ko, mga taong naging kaibigan ko, at mga bagay na natutunan ko in the process. That, I don't have any regrets. Pero sabi ko sa sarili ko, I don't want to be limited on things and what I have accomplished already. I want to explore more. I want to cross boundaries. I want to widen my experience in life. I want to add more beautiful memories in my journey in this world.

And so I started traveling. I then became Von Viajero. Sinimulan ko nun sa Pilipinas. Sabi ko gusto ko malibot ang sarili kong bansa. Gusto kong makita ang magagandang lugar. From Luzon, Visayas, to Mindanao. Kaya sa bawat sweldo ko, nag-iipon ako para sa mga byahe. Madami na rin akong napuntahan. And I'm thankful for those opportunities. Seeing different places, people and culture. It's about experiencing it, not just seeing it. That's why I don't mind walking miles, riding their own transportation, and living in cheap hotels. Because that is the journey. The experience.

Then opportunities of seeing other asian countries came, same as the opportunity of seeing many states in US. I'm grateful that I have visited the states of Washington, Oregon, California, Maryland, Virginia, North Carolina and Washington DC. In asia, I've only been to Hongkong, Singapore and Thailand. You see, sa Pilipinas, medyo happy na ako sa dami kong napuntahan. Pero worldwide, madami pa akong gustong ma-achieve. Kailangan bago ako tumanda, makapunta muna ako anywhere in Europe, Africa, at South America. 

You see, when you get old, it's hard to see the world na. Ako pa naman, pag gumawa nang itinerary, kinakarir ko talaga. Ma-research akong tao. Gusto ko nama-maximize ko lagi ang place na pinupuntahan ko. Walang kapaguran. Punta doon, punta dito, sakay doon, lakad dito, picture picture. Ganyan. Eh pag matanda na ako, baka isang lugar pa lang napupuntahan ko, hingal na ako. Unlike! When you're old, you can't have the same strength as what you have right now. Ayoko nun!!!

This move to Thailand was part of everything. I have a good career in the Philippines. I've been in the BPO industry for 10 years. It helped me earn the money that I use in my travels at sa mga gamit na napundar ko. Pero naisip ko, that industry will eat you alive. It will make you stuck there for life. Ayoko ding tumanda na ang life history ko eh nag-work sa call center industry for life. Gusto ko ma-experience ang ibang field. Ganun na din ang buhay sa ibang bansa. Kaya kahit nahirapan ma-gets nang ilang tao why I left, this is actually the reason why.

When I grow old, I want a rich history of my life. So many stories that I can go back, reminisce, and smile. I don't want a boring old life na walang mabalikan na maraming ala-ala. Gusto ko pag may nagkwento sa akin na napuntahan daw niya ang lugar na ito, makaka-relate ako kasi napuntahan ko din. Kaya kahit nahirapan akong iwan ang malaking pera sa trabaho ko, I realized, I only have one life to live. And time is running. So as your age. Hindi ko mararanasan ang maraming bagay kapag na-stuck ako sa isang lugar.

Sa buhay pag-ibig, okay na ako ma-stuck ngayon. Nakapag-explore na ako doon. Alam kong sapat na yun. At masaya na ako sa taong natagpuan ko. Yun, masaya akong tumanda kasama siya. But again, going back to the thought na ilang years na ang dumaan sa buhay mo, at di na din ganun kadaming taon pa ang natitira compare when you were still a child. And the fact na there's no going back, nakaka-aning! Yeah, I know I sound crazy. But I know some of you can relate to this. Most especially to people like me. Some will not because their personality is different from me.

I don't want to die, I still want to live. I don't want to get old, I still want to be young. Yan ang mga hiling ko sa buhay. But I know I have no control of it. That's why, while still young, and getting old, and while given an opportunity to live, I will maximize it. I will try new things, I will see the world and explore, I will meet more people, I will gain more experiences.

So don't get stuck with break ups, heart aches, and painful memories. There's so many things in life to be enjoyed. Tama nang umiyak ka once, twice, then that should be it. Get up, go out, and live your life to the fullest! If you're not happy with your job, quit! Find another one. Learn new things, meet new people, get new experiences. If you feel like doing something, or go somewhere, follow your heart! Do it while you can.

That's why for me, I look at it as my journey. My life story. And just like my blog, I wanna write so many things about my life when I get old. How I lived my life, and how I have seen the world...

You, how's your life story so far?